Overcoming Doubt in the Ability to Heal


I would like to begin by thanking my students, friends and colleagues, (ie. my facebook friends) for the Reiki they sent to help me tune into the topic for this article.  A special thank you to Pam for the gentle nudge that helped me realize it is time for me to slow down and listen more.
A series of synchronicities brought forth the suggestion for this article, several times, but I was overly busy, and not as attentive as I usually am. I was missing the messages. The messages were to write an article to help answer the questions my students and clients have asked so frequently;

How can I know that I have the ability to heal?

First let’s define what healing is. Healing is a process which leads to a sense of wholeness and inner peace.  One important thing to remember is that healing is related to, but different than “curing”.
In my Reiki practice, I do not consider myself a Reiki healer. I am a Reiki practitioner. This simply means that I work with the Reiki energy to help my client achieve a sense of wholeness and inner peace. There are times this results in a physical healing. However, that happens when the emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of the client are in alignment, which allows healing to flow into the physical being.
Being a practitioner also means that I practice the expression of Reiki in my life every single day, just as one might practice pilates, or yoga, or running.  The more I practice with the Reiki energy, the more in tune I am with universal flow.

Who do you think you are?

Often our self worth issues arise when we consider the fact that we can help another with their healing.  When I was a little girl, I was inspired to pursue healing as my path, by a verse in the Bible. In reference to his  healing works, Jesus said; “Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do.” John 14:12
When I shared my vision with others I was told “You can’t do that because only Jesus can.” I interpreted this to mean Who do you think you are? You are not good enough to do these things.” Our self worth issues are often a door to ego’s interference with our Divine purpose.
Whenever I begin to question my worthiness I find Marianne Williamson’s quote to be so very inspiring.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.”
Those words always help me remember that we have been placed on this planet for a purpose. We have the opportunity to step up and fulfill that purpose…or not. If we hide behind our fears and doubts we are not able to step up into higher consciousness and BE who we truly are.

How do I develop more confidence in myself?

Nearly every person I know has struggled with their lack of self worth at some time in their life. Perhaps this is a result of disapproving parents, bullies at school, feeling like we don’t belong anywhere, a divorce, etc.  For some of us, developing a strong sense of self worth may be a life long process, but we can make steps toward valuing our self more every day.
When we have low self esteem we do not feel valued, loved, appreciated or accepted by others, nor do we value, love, appreciate or our accept our self. People with healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities, skills, and accomplishments. People with low self-esteem may feel as if they are not good at anything they do.
It can be helpful to understand what caused our low self-esteem. Reiki is so very good at helping us get to the root of our healing issues.
When I am trying to determine the cause of one of my healing issues, this is the process I use;

  1. Before going to sleep at night, I activate the distant healing symbol HNSHZ, and say a prayer. In the prayer ask for understanding of the source of the issue and for help in healing.
  2. First thing the next morning I say a prayer of gratitude for the healing and wisdom that has begun to flow to me.
  3. During the day I am attentive to even the most subtle clues that may contain my answers.
  4. The next night I reactivate HNSHZ, and in my prayer I give thanks for deeper understanding and healing of low self esteem.
  5. The next day I would begin the day with an affirmation. In the case of doubting my healing abilities, my affirmation might be something like; “I AM an effective and successful Reiki practitioner.” I state this affirmation during a self treatment during which I channel all three level II Reiki symbols, with special emphasis of SHK (mental/emotional/harmony symbol)
  6. During the day I repeat the affirmation to myself several times just as I might recite mantra.
  7. The last thing before going to sleep I activate HNSHZ and SHK and say the affirmation repeatedly, until I drift off to sleep.
  8. I continue with steps 6 and 7 until I am aware of a definite shift in my thought processes, attitudes and behaviors as they relate to my self esteem.

Whenever I follow this process, I naturally begin to take better care of myself.  I begin to honor my needs, and in general, gradually become more loving of myself.  During this process we can begin to honor our self for our personal strengths, rather than comparing our self to those who have strengths in other areas. We each have the very same spark of Divine love within us. This spark is waiting to be ignited by love of self. For when we honor and love our self, we honor and love our Creator.

What if I don’t “see” results?

Let’s examine what the practitioner’s responsibility is. As a practitioner, or facilitator of healing, our job is to show up, invite the full power of Divine Love to flow through us, and to get out of the way. That’s it.  In my early days with Reiki I was pondering what my responsibility is in helping my clients.  I was reminded that “You have no claim and no blame here.” This means that I am not the healer, therefore I am not responsible for the “results” or lack thereof.
As Reiki practitioners we are simply instruments that Reiki plays through. The Reiki energy itself is not doing the healing, nor is the practitioner. The recipient of the energy is healing from within.
All works are being done by the Gunas (or the energy and power) of nature, but due to delusion of ego, people assume themselves to be the doer. (The Bhagavad-Gita Copyright 1988 by Dr. Ramanand Prasad V3.27)
There we have it…the ego.  It is the ego that desires to be THE healer. Although, with most practitioners, this desire is simply because we wish to be of service to another, it still can limit the effectiveness of a healing session. The inappropriate presence of personality, ego and expectations are filters or veils that can prevent Reiki from flowing as freely as possible.

“Your glory lies where you cease to exist”. (Ramana Maharshi)

“I live, yet not I, but Christ – the eternal Logos – liveth in me. ” (Gal 2:20)

When we let go of ego as a filter, something very liberating happens. We recognize that the spark of Divine energy within us is growing and the Reiki energy is fueling it.  We develop a deeper understanding that we are truly one with Divine Love by BEing rather than doing.

How can Reiki help set ego aside?

This is where Reiki can be so very helpful. Once the flow of energy begins, all we need to do is to BE the energy.  Begin by focusing on the energy, and let it relax your body and your mind. When random thoughts show up, let them flow out as you replace them with a thought of Reiki. If you are at least a Reiki level II practitioner, this is even easier.  With level II Reiki we learn symbols.  The CKR symbol is that of power and focus.  Whenever I find myself beginning to analyze a session, or questioning some aspect of what is happening, or even think about what I am having for lunch, I simply focus on CKR and taDA, I am one with Reiki again. When we are immersed in the flow of Reiki, expectations vanish and we begin to blend with limitless love, the filters and veils of ego dissolve and beautiful healings can happen.
Your ego is your friend when it inspires you to learn, grow and take care of yourself.  However, when the ego causes you to doubt yourself or limit your possibilities, it is time to step into the light of Divine Love that you are and let the limitations dissolve.
As always my prayer is for love, peace, health, well being and prosperity for all beings,